DJ Week 1

Measurements 11/04/2007:

Body Composition Pectorals: 13

Body Composition Abs: 35

Body Composition Thighs: 15

Total Body Composition: 20.3%

Tape Measure Bicep: 13

Tape Measure Waist: 37

Tape Measure Chest: 39.5

Tape Measure Hips: 19

Weight: 205

My name is DJ Simmons. By reading my blog you have decided to donate your time to reading what I think about yogurt, a service I’ll gladly provide you. Though leading experts don’t consider me to be a pioneer in the field just yet, I’m certainly what you would call an up-and-comer in the world of moldy milk. I’ve been eating a variety of dairy products for quite some time now (though for a time my choice was limited to right or left) and have eaten Whey protein with some measure of consistency since high school. I believe I am qualified to pasteurize you with my words.

For the next 11 weeks I will be giving you a glimpse into my leisurely and stationary lifestyle which the good people at WheyActive frown upon. They decided that I would be the perfect candidate to reform and tempted me with an outrageous starting salary of 48 yogurts. I wheyed my options and told them I would try this new “diet and exercise” health craze and see what happens. It was an offer I couldn’t refuse.

A little about myself. I’m in college right now and live with a large man named Gary.
My diet leaves something to be desired. I usually like doing what I want on my own time which usually means eating fried chicken up to 5 times a week. I drink Busch Lite about 4-5 times a week in copious quantities, I make McDonald’s runs about twice a week and sometimes I pick my nose. But it is time for change, a change of mind and a change of heart. All of this will take courage which I will instill in myself by growing a beard. I’m’ not going to stop drinking alcohol because that would be lame but I will also try to eat less junk and now eat more less delicious things such as:
2 Protein Shakes a Day
2 Yogurts a Day Mixed with Whey Protein Powder
Cans Spinach

I will also:
Excerise 5 times a week.
In addition to:
Growing a courage beard.

I will now try to eat 5 meals a day and not drink too much juice because it has a silly amount of sugar carbs. I will exercise by playing basketball 5 times a week and lifting large objects over my head 3 times a week the Krebs Cycle. This is week 1 of the plan and I’m feeling optimistic that I can be healthier and I’m optimistic that you can be healthier too by reading this if you’re not from Wisconsin. I promise to be as charismatic as Jared from Subway, the Michael Jordan of not being fat. I will do all this without the benefit of performing enhancing drugs. This week was week one so I have nothing to report yet; my workouts went according to plan; I had fried chicken only twice and didn’t go to McDonald’s. Every time I would have normally a hamburger I ate a chicken gyro instead. As you can see, things are shaping up.

In next week’s blog:
Will a journey past Chicken Shack spell the end of DJ’s Whey Challenge?
How many bad whey puns is whey too many?
Does this font make my text look big?

I leave you with the essentials:
Height: 78 inches
Weight: 200
Waist: 40 inches
Bust: 41 inches
Toes: 10